why use Danish

I haven't written in my journal since February '05. I'm not proud of it. for months I've tossed around the idea that I've had no urge to write because I fell in love. It's true that I've lost some of that spunky angst that guided me through the many years. But lately that notion seems so lame. not the notion of being in love, that one still gets a "yes please," but the idea that because I'm not fueled by a daily need to inflict passive harm through my biting words to the silly boys who once bruised my heart, I don't have the drive to record my thoughts.

what I'm finding though is that even though the bruising boys of yesteryear are seemingly gone (except for random sightings at cambridge haunts--btw you know who you are and I know who you are so next time, just say hi ok?), my angst just takes other forms. people walking too slow on the sidewalk. the asshole 29 year old schmuck who thought it was ok to not be a gentleman and step on my toe as he butted in front of me on the CT1 last week. no no...sorry mr. man. scoot. i made sure my backpack hit him a few times as I dodged the couple kissing on the bus.
Can't blame them really...release from the meth clinic down the street can illicit joy in just about anyone.

I've also fought the idea because after leaving a job I knew for 9+ years to go to grad school, I've fulfilled my self-involvement quota of the year. Why should I get to indulge myself in morning runs with my sister, intellectual stimulation, AND self-reflection? I know--lame again.

So here I am.