A new year.

Been listening to the Be Good Tanyas all day. Love this song, "Don't You Fall."

Don't you fall in love with me
Don't show me your affection
I can't give you what you want from me
I don't want the attention
I gave away my heart before
And it only caused me sorrow
How could I think of loving someone Today or tomorrow
(Chorus)
I've been so long confused
Was I loved or was I used?
Now the sun goes up and down
And the weather rains and shines
I lost my heart somewhere
Oh I need to take more time
Don't you fall in love with me
Don't show me your affection
I can't give you what you want from me
I don't want the attention
No I can't give you what you want from me
I don't want the attention

Wouldn't it be so much easier if we all thought with such clarity, and communicated accordingly? Just the statement along "I can't give you what you want from me" is so powerful. It requires such a sense of awareness, one that at least I don't walk around cultivating, and those I surround myself with don't either.

When I teach Situational Leadership, we talk about the different stages of Readiness. There are four stages, and theoretically, if one matches her leadership style to someone's readiness level, good things happen such as greater productivity at work, or having your significant other agree to make dinner every other night. We talk a lot about the difference between "ability" and "capability." In SL terms, even if someone is capable of completing a given task, if he is not demonstrating it before your eyes, he is "unable." That should have great bearing on what you do next in response.

If someone is unable, they can still be willing. Willingness may be an eagerness to demonstrate proficiency in something untested in other situations. Then again, they can also be unwilling. This is called "R1" with respect to readiness. In that situation, it helps to merely direct and instruct on what needs to happen, with little to no input from the R1 other than to say "Yes, I understand what you are asking me to do."

I believe in the potential of others. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and hold onto the notion that someone's potential will manifest itself if given enough light, air, and water. But what if that doesn't work?

ugh. makes my head spin.